One-liners

I finally did the dishes. There were only two. It was a start.

My password is the last eight digits of pi. Good luck.

I told Time to stop, but it just waved and kept walking.

I don't always make dad jokes. Then again, yes I do.

Coffee is a hug in a mug, and I am under-hugged.

I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

My favourite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.

I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

I named my Wi-Fi after a nearby cafe so people would sit outside.

Sleep is my favourite hobby, and I'm turning professional.

I bought a thesaurus, but I couldn't find the words to describe how happy I was.

The problem with trouble-shooting is that trouble shoots back.