Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest — As Cities Burn

As Cities Burn's Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest came out on 21 June 2005 on Solid State Records, part of the Tooth & Nail family. It's ten tracks long. Wikipedia lists it at thirty-six minutes three seconds, while Jesus Freak Hideout and Discogs have it at thirty-five fifty-four. Most of it was made at Glow in the Dark Studios in Atlanta with Matt Goldman, but "The Widow" was recorded at First Street Studio in Cleveland. As Cities Burn, Matt Goldman and Josh Scogin produced it. It was mixed at Vudu Studios and Troy Glessner mastered it at Spectre Studios. T.J. Bonnette handled the screams, Cody Bonnette played lead guitar and sang, Colin Kimble played rhythm guitar, Pascal Barone played bass and Aaron Lunsford played drums.

Here's the running order. It opens with Thus From My Lips, By Yours, My Sin Is Purged, then goes Love Jealous One, Love, Incomplete Is a Leech, Bloodsucker Pt. II, Terrible! How Terrible for the Great City!, The Widow, Wake Dead Man, Wake, Admission: Regret, One: Twentyseven and Of Want and Misery: The Nothing That Kills. It was the band's debut, and they were a group from Mandeville, Louisiana, making it for Solid State.

Who they were in 2005

In 2005 they were a Louisiana band on Solid State who openly called themselves Christian, playing post-hardcore and hardcore. They'd signed in 2004 after building a buzz as an unsigned act, and they were out on the Young Bloods tour with The Chariot, Showbread and He Is Legend. You can hear the faith in the lyrics, but nobody's handing out tracts.

What the critics keep saying about this album

AllMusic's Alex Henderson summed up the sound. He called it Christian screamo, melodic hardcore and post-hardcore cut from the Solid State and Tooth & Nail cloth, built on contrasts between heaven and hell and between soft and abrasive. T.J. Bonnette's harsh, in-your-face screaming runs up against clean vocals, so one minute the band's a sledgehammer and the next it's reflective and melodic. Henderson said that play of light and dark is what separates screamo from unforgiving metalcore. He noted the Christianity is subtle and the lyrics are introspective without beating anyone over the head. He also found it uneven, inconsistent and not remarkable, though he said it has its moments and it's worth checking out if you already like Underoath, Emery or Showbread.

Sean Lex took the opposite view at Jesus Freak Hideout on 26 June 2005. He heard a melodic, angsty debut full of passion and rage that "can only be described as beautiful." To him the songwriting left most of the hardcore and post-hardcore crowd far behind, with the harsh sounds blending gracefully into the soft, melodic ones. He said "The Widow," about a drug-addicted father walking out on his family, is so emotionally powerful you can almost miss how beautiful the music is. If it doesn't stir up some sorrow in you, he joked, go get an x-ray, because you might not have a soul any more. His only complaint was a stretch. He wished the song titles were shorter so they wouldn't get cut off in his playlist. His closing line still gets quoted. If you buy one hardcore album this year, buy this one.

Andrew Segal reviewed it for Cross Rhythms in a piece published on 9 December 2005, with the UK release listed for August 2005. He heard a Louisiana mix of hardcore, metal and punk with the amps cranked right up, fast drums and T.J. screaming through ten songs mostly in sad minor keys. He liked how steady the intensity was and that they weren't afraid of a little feedback, but he felt the tracks started to blur together. He heard "The Widow" as a quieter break that sometimes calls up Weezer or Eels. He didn't think it would reach past fans of very heavy rock, but he said moshpit regulars who like their rock extreme would have a great time.

Wikipedia later described the sound as mostly post-hardcore, with T.J.'s heavy screaming, Cody backing him up, and a dark, dramatic, emotional tone the whole way through. It points to "The Widow," where Cody sings clean, as a hint of how the band would sound later without T.J.'s screaming. The band played release shows on 21 June in Covington, Louisiana, and on 22 June at Vinos in Little Rock. In 2006, after the Young Bloods run, they toured with The Bled, Protest the Hero and Sincebyman.

Four tracks from this LP

Bloodsucker Pt. II was the official video, and it leads off the videos. It's the hardcore punch in the middle of the record.

The Widow is the one Lex said would test whether you've got a soul. It's also the quieter break Segal heard, and the song where Wikipedia hears Cody's clean singing pointing to the band's future. It's about abandonment, it's the emotional centre of the album, and it's usually the first song people bring up.

Love Jealous One, Love and Thus From My Lips, By Yours, My Sin Is Purged are the opening one-two. Lex heard anguished screams turning into a boyish clean voice across the album, and it starts right here. Sputnikmusic reviewers who lived with the record kept naming these two for how they swing from heavy to clean, and for dissonance that actually helps the harmony.

Of Want and Misery: The Nothing That Kills is the closer, and it runs past six minutes. Discogs credits Goldman with piano. It's a long, dark landing after the sprint.

After those four, dig into Incomplete Is a Leech, Admission: Regret (Scogin's credited as a guest), Wake Dead Man, Wake and One: Twentyseven. Henderson calling it uneven and Segal hearing the songs blur together are fair points. So is Lex telling you this is the one hardcore album to buy all year.

What the room sounded like in 2005

Goldman's Glow in the Dark studio in Atlanta, plus that session at First Street in Cleveland for "The Widow," got the kids from Mandeville onto a Solid State album without sanding T.J. down into soft Christian pop. There were Young Bloods shows with The Chariot, Showbread and He Is Legend, CD release nights in Covington and Little Rock, and the next year's tour with The Bled, Protest the Hero and Sincebyman. This isn't a chart story. It's the debut that made As Cities Burn, and critics are still split on whether it's a beautiful must-have or uneven screamo.

The score

I'm giving it an 8/10.

Why not a nine? Henderson called it uneven and unremarkable, and Segal heard the songs run together before the hush of "The Widow." But it's better than a seven. Lex calling it beautiful, and the one hardcore album to buy that year, still counts for a lot. Bloodsucker Pt. II, The Widow, those heavy-to-clean shifts early on and the long Of Want and Misery finale still explain Christian hardcore better than most records do, more than twenty years later. It's a debut that matters on Solid State, flaws and all.

Where this album sits on Loud Faith

Christian hardcore and post-hardcore on Solid State in 2005 had a whole world around it. Young Bloods tour vans, the Cornerstone crowd, Myspace-era melody up against screaming, and Goldman's studio in Atlanta. Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest is As Cities Burn's debut. AllMusic heard heaven and hell in the contrasts, JFH called it the one hardcore album to buy (and joked about the long song titles), and Cross Rhythms thought the songs blurred together. Start with Bloodsucker Pt. II.